Well, this is it. I am FINALLY going to start this blog I’ve been promising for who knows how long. And what was it that got me motivated? It wasn’t the state of modern politics and the expenses fiasco that dominates the headlines at present, neither was it the news that Parkhurst prison is failing prisoners, nor indeed was it the swine flu storm in a teacup. Nope, it was my old school friend starting her blog. Now, before you go thinking I got all jealous and decided I could do better blah blah blah, hold your horses! It wasn’t that at all, but the fact that somehow despite working full time she has managed to find time to write several paragraphs and it’s good and everything. Compare this to me, a housework-shy mother of 3 and housewife or, if you like, “stay at home mum”. Really, you have no idea how much I dislike that expression.

Here’s how I imagine yesterday went for my friend:

Got up, drank tea, started work, had meetings, drank coffee, had a couple of conference calls, managed her team of blokes, played Scrabble on Facebook (during breaks, of course), drank tea and built a couple of mainframes. Or something. And at the end of all this enterprise she still managed to fit in writing her blog. And it was good.

Here’s what I did:

Got up, about 8. Drank tea. Was tired. Watched a bit of telly, fed the baby, drank tea, had breakfast. Thought I might look for a part-time job but couldn’t find one. Drank tea. Had A Good Idea (first one for about a decade). Watched more telly, “Loose Women”, for shame. Played lots of Facebook Scrabble. Drank tea. Upset someone by accusing them of cheating at Facebook Scrabble. Fed the baby, played with her a bit, had lunch (I think, I can’t even remember). Drank tea. Did some exercise, while the baby laughed at me, especially when I fell spectacularly off the step and landed on my back, mercifully uninjured. Drank water. Had a shower. Did no cleaning. Or washing. No more tea, had enough. Picked up husband (from the hovercraft, not literally). Made dinner (Spanish omelette). Watched even more telly. Went to bed.

Now, you could argue that my life is so unutterably dull that I couldn’t possibly have anything interesting to write about. You could be right. But the way I see it is that for the last 2 years or so that I’ve been saying I will write a blog, maybe the odd article, perhaps a screenplay and definitely a novel, I have in fact been sitting on my not-too-ample behind and doing bugger all. Worst of all, I have no excuse. So the seeds of time, they are a-changin’. Or is it the sands? Oh I don’t know, I’ve never even used that expression before. Nor will I again. And so, I must thank Miss Woolley, the friend who inspired me to finally galvanise into action and bore you all senseless with tales of frogs, cars, children, old ladies, bras or whatever else comes to mind. Frogs will definitely feature, though.

This is her blog:

http://diaryofanamplenerd.blogspot.com/

Don’t blame her, she didn’t mean to make me do it.