I know I’ve earned myself a bit of a reputation as a younger, more feminine and definitely better looking Victor Meldrew character but what the hey. The world is teeming with idiots forever doing stupid things and it’s much easier to write about things you don’t like than things you do.
Celebrity culture is all the rage these days and whole magazines are devoted to pictures taken by the paparazzi of people we apparently all aspire to be. Oh yes, I WISH I was Cheryl Cole (I don’t). Or Victoria Beckham (I don’t), although she has clearly modelled her miserable face on mine. Or rather suffers from the same condition: turned down mouth syndrome. Just because I look a bit unhappy it doesn’t mean I am, I just don’t walk down the road grinning like a loon. I don’t really care about these people or their lives, who they’re sleeping with, who they’re friends with or why they have given their child a ridiculous name. I don’t even care that they’ve been snapped with a massive sweat patch on their t-shirt or have flashed a photographer because they went commando and got out of a car in a very unladylike manner. I don’t really understand “celebrity” or why some people are considered to be in their exclusive little club. What I DO know, however, is which ones I don’t like!
Sure, it’s mostly pretty irrational, I don’t know these people but when you watch someone on TV regularly or hear them on the radio you feel like you do. Take Jo Whiley, for example. She has the most irritating and monotonous voice. It genuinely sets my teeth on edge and coupled with her gratuitous name dropping it has me reaching for the nearest large object to hurl at the radio or TV. Oh yes, she’s infiltrated TV now with the same unique “I’m best friends with all these amazing bands” style. I suspect she thinks she’s channeling John Peel but she’s not. Heck no.
Women on the news too, a lot of them drive me mad. It isn’t enough that they’ve dumbed down the news to the point where an amoeba could follow it they have to now present it in a conversational style with gesticulating arms as though they’re just having a chat with someone over coffee. A BBC newsreader, Louise Minchin, used to really annoy me but I must admit it’s worn off a bit now, having seen her on other programmes where she comes across as a bit silly (I like silly) and actually rather sweet. DO NOT tell anyone I said that. Susannah Reid on the other hand clearly fancies herself and has been the most alarming shade of orange since she covered the Oscars a few years back. My husband despises Fiona Bruce, although he can’t put his finger on why. She’s pretty smug. Of course it’s not just women on the news that get our goat, some of the men annoy us too. Charlie Stayt, Reid’s partner in crime with his anchor man hair and atrocious interviewing technique is a prime example. Particularly because he was once talking of a coup somewhere in the world and pronounced it “coop”. Shocking.
For the most part I can back up my dislike for such slebs with good(ish) reasons but sometimes there is no explanation. Kate Thornton. Why can’t I stand her? No idea, just can’t. Eamonn Holmes. Fiona Phillips. All of Girls Aloud. Tess Daly. Brucie. Gah! Although now I think about it I kind of can think of reasons for others. Carol Vorderman because she thinks she knows all about maths and is really embarrassing when interviewed (see previous blog about me being a terrible cringer). Alex Jones because she’s thick. Wayne Rooney. Actually, all premiership footballers. Oh, the list goes on and on and on. And on.
Don’t get me wrong though, the ones I like far outweigh the ones I don’t but the general rule of thumb is if they have no discernable talent I’m not going to like ‘em. I love comedians in particular, especially the ones whose observations of life resonate with me. There are many people out there who don’t like Michael McIntyre and I just don’t understand that, I think he’s a genius. The fact is, like in life, we can’t all like everyone but you’ve got to wonder why some of these annoying gits are in the public eye!
(This was an Old Git production for bladdy hippies everywhere to poke fun at)